Swiggity Swag
by Daniel Craig
Summary: "I'm a ponpon your weiwei." Will whispered seductively in his batman voice.


Hannibal gasped as Will Graham burst in to the room. The whole office shook like a nine hundred point zillion pi earthquake took over the building. The door behind him collapsed. The fancy painting of bananas fell dramatically onto the bowl of bananas that happened to be near it.

His heart fluttered hard enough at that moment that Hannibal quickly checked his pulse to see if he was going under cardiac arrest. His small inefficient Scandinavian hands went to his heart as he licked his papery dry lips in a seductive, slutty, and yet sophisticated manner. Will marched his way toward him while he stripped of his jacket and threw it on the floor. It fell and a heap of dog hair and fleas puffed out of it. Hannibal frowned at the sudden disarray.

He made the move to pick it up but was suddenly pulled up into a bridal carry. Strong, muscular and hairy arms entwined around him. Hannibal sighed in contentment as he sniffed Will's hair. 'Ah, Anti-NMDA Receptor Encephalitis. We meet again.' Hannibal thought lustily. Will's long ebony thick curls overshadowed his eyes and Hannibal wanted to comb it to the side and gel him. Gel him the way god had intended him to. Will pushed him down onto his desk.

"Hello Will." Hannibal whispered in his sexy Swedish accent, his voice cracking near the end. Will just smirked at him as he ripped off his flannel shirt. Buttons popped off into the air as one hit Hannibal's eye.

"Ow." Hannibal whined in arousal as Will's armpits pored sweat all of his expensive Italian tailored suit. Hannibal had never been more turned on until that moment. He was even more turned on than that time where he mutilated that one girl and mounted her fly ridden carcass on to those antler thingies. Good times.

Will stared at him predatorily, his green-blue-grey-brown eyes smoldering like a fire that couldn't be put out.

"Swiggity Swag." rasped out Will in an utterly sexy way and at that precise moment Hannibal's boner popped out of his trousers as a loud "BOING" reverberated in the air.

'omg my ovaries just exploded' Hannibal's mind gushed out. His trousers were pulled down and pooled around his ankles. His hairless white bony legs were on display for the whole world to see. His small wrinkly boyhood was also in display too because in Norway they go commando. Hannibal mewled like a blind newborn kitten looking for its mother's milk as he suckled on Will's erect third nipple.

"Do you have a rubber?" asked Will in a remarkably sexy southern drawl that was unlike him but strangely appetizing. "Ah, yes of course. We Canadians are always prepared. " Hannibal moaned out. He pulled out a Specially Ribbed for Her Pleasure Durex rubber and threw it at Will's face. Will caught it with his teeth and growled causing Hannibal to giggle like a tiny baby. Will then proceeded to place the rubber on his weenie and gave it a swirl.

"I'm a ponpon your weiwei." Will whispered seductively in his batman voice. He pushed his manpole onto hannibal's butt.

"Where is your butthole?" questioned Will, still in his Batman voice. "Look for the sign." Hannibal panted. Sure enough, a sign with the word "entrance" was painted in large bold comic sans font pointing where the hidden treasure was.

Will slowly slammed his way in causing Hannibal to keen like someone who just got reamed from their butthole. "Ouch. " Hannibal cried. They rutted against each other until Hannibal peed. After four hours of wild monkey love making Will also peed.

"omg xDDD" said Hannibal.

"wut ^_^?" said will.

"I think the eraser broke." Hannibal cried. Indeed he really was crying.

"So?" Will said insensitively as wiped his hotdog onto Hannibal's tie. " what do you mean 'so'?!" screamed Hannibal. "I might get mpreg!" Hannibal cried.

"Mhahajajajajjajaj ! That was always my plan. I know you're the cheapskate ripper and I'm put you in jail." Will proclaimed. He then pushed Hannibal off the desk. Hannibal fell and cried harder as he broke his knee on the way down.


End file.
